After reading many texts on the force of habit including The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg and Mini-Habits by Stephen Guise, just to name two; I decided to commit to an ongoing challenge. There are many habits I struggle to sustain, with intermittent and somewhat sporadic success. Sometimes I do yoga for 7 hours a week, and other weeks I only barely get done the four hours of teaching yoga I am committed to each week. Needless to say, my habits were lacking momentum, luster, vibrancy and commitment. I was in need of an upgrade. Therefore, I designed the 1-minute habit challenge. Commit to 5-10 habits you would like to start, but only commit to doing them for one minute everyday. It will take less than 15 minutes including transition time. Why one minute? Because there is no way you can talk yourself out of doing one minute of a habit. You might do the elliptical in your jeans and your yoga in your dress clothes but you won't talk yourself out of just one minute of something. And if you've read anything on habit formation, you know that the force of a habit is quite strong. About 40% of the average person's day is made up of repeated actions (habits). So if you are likely to repeat something you did yesterday, why not make that habit exercise or flossing?
I wanted to start this habit challenge because I found myself scrolling through social media too much, especially in the morning; and generally procrastinating all of the things I loved to do because I was convinced I didn't have the energy or time. However, what I truly lacked was overcoming the impediment to start. To begin an activity often takes a certain amount of gumption and fortitude. An "I can do this!"-type-of-attitude. Sometimes it will involved changing locations (from office to workout room), or a change of clothes (from dress clothes to painting clothes), or a change of gears (from processing the "to do" list to reflective prayer practices). These obstacles to starting a habit in the moment can be quite obtuse when trying to overcome them. A little like hoping over a high fence in your fourth decade with a little tire tube around your midsection. Let's face it, when confronting habit formation we are less than nimble and have a tendency toward stagnation. (No judgment on people in their fourth decade - I am one of them.) Therefore, I designed the 1-minute habit formation challenge. Pick 5-10 habits you would like to complete each day. I chose reading in English, Spanish, and French, praying, doing yoga, going on the elliptical, flossing, lifting weights (I have a set at home), journaling and drawing. These were all areas I felt like my commitment was sporadic and sour - a little like Swiss cheese. I wanted vibrancy. And I can say, after only 5 days, that I think I got it figured out! My habits, although only 10 one-minute habits, usually take 2-3 hours for me to complete. This happens because I may read in English and French for only a minute, but when I pick up the Spanish book I may find a really interesting section and get "stuck" in it for about 15 minutes. Today I journaled for 1 minute, quickly tucking my notebook away on its shelf, but found myself relishing my rosary practice for 20 minutes and my yoga practice for 30 minutes. The trick is to NEVER hope for more than one minute. You may realize you'll likely do more than one minute but never say, "I'm going to do the elliptical for 5 minutes." Just stick to the one minute and be up for whatever happens. I mean let's be honest, if I committed to 1-2 hours of each habit everyday, I wouldn't have time to eat, work, shower or sleep. So I guess I have unrealistic habit goals. As it is, it usually takes me ALL day to just get the 10 one-minute habits done (spread out over time). And I don't beat myself up if I really need to cut it short and go to bed. After all, sleep is key to good health - more so than healthy habits like drawing and journaling. The key is low barriers to entry and no judgment. Create the force of a habit and see where you are in a week....So what should happen after a week? Well you go to TWO minutes! Then the next week three minutes and up the time until you have reached your goals or your habits have a force of their own. I will be updating this blog to let you know how I do after a few weeks. So I'll be back in a few weeks, but for now, I'm going to draw for one minute! Seeking & Sharing Wisdom, Betty Lynn
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Decluttering has a strange way of making you more aware of what you have, ask yourself why you have it, and make decisions about your priorities and your vision of your future. After four years of consistent decluttering, I was interested in moving on to other reading topics such as minimalism, frugality, simplicity, and contentedness - and practicing these as a way to amplify the intensity with which I live and the clarity of focus for my consumption. I felt like many years of mindless consumption had not only left a carbon footprint, but virtually eliminated my budget for travel to foreign countries, severely limited my ability to spend on my education, and left me with a compulsion that just left me feeling empty afterwards although I would delightfully describe it as "retail therapy" to avoid the judgement of a spouse, family and friends. Basically, shopping was a vice and being on the yogic path developed enough awareness that I didn't want to be on this crazy train anymore. I wanted simplicity and I wanted it NOW.
Enter "The Year of Less" by Cait Flanders. An open, and sometime brutally honest narrative of her "spinning-out-of-control" decade of her twenties, she carefully describes each one of her vices and how she let them go. Included in these vices were drinking, junk food binges, drugs, recreational sex, and shopping. She briefly describes how the absence of her father and a high-pressure job led her to try and fill the void with whatever she could cram in it - no matter how unsavorable. In major debt, alcoholism, overweight, and in a hopelessly cluttered apartment she announced her intention to attempt a one-year shopping ban on her blog: caitflanders.com. Of course, being conscientious about details and parameters she set out some rules for the year including what she wouldn't buy, what she could buy, and an approved purchase list of items she anticipated needing to buy over the course of the ban. She first decluttered her entire apartment getting rid of more than 50% of her items in her home. At the end of the year she had saved thousands of dollars, enough to quit her job and pursue freelance writing full-time, and travel more. (She got rid of all her other vices previous to the shopping ban.) Needless to say, I was extremely intrigued by her experiment. But in typical Cait Flanders fashion - she does everything to the extreme - a year-long ban was just the right length for her. But not for me. I briefly considered a ban, but choked it up as impossible. Well, after experimenting with a modified ban for the first week of August, I decided that I could make it real and do it for one entire month. I know that's not a long time and that some minimalists like my thrifty sister and hipster brother can live this way indefinitely without help, but I believe there's hope for me. And since I had heard it stated in more than one place that publicly declaring something and asking for support is one good use of social media and public forums I am announcing it here. From August 6th to September 6th I will attempt a one-month shopping ban. I will re-evaluate it after one month to see if it was a success, what I may tweak, revisit my rules, check my savings, and write an update on what I learned and how much I saved. Here are my rules and actions required:
So wish me luck and if you would like to join me on a shopping ban be sure to declare it on social media with the hashtag #declutteringzone.
In Search of Simplicity, ​Betty Lynn Sparking Joy is not just a parameter to work with when deciding whether or not to get rid of an old pair of jeans or tennis sneakers. After reading her entire second book titled Spark Joy: An illustrated master class on the art of organizing and tidying up, I found myself asking myself before scheduling something, "Does this spark joy?" or before buying a new purse, "Will this spark joy, or am I just getting it because it's the first thing I found and I need something this size and color?" In actuality, sparking joy can be a question you ask yourself before any activity. You can ask yourself, "Does my job spark joy?" "Does how I eat spark joy and energize my life?", "Does my basement spark joy?" Because let's admit it, if we can be rigorous enough to make sure opening an undergarment drawer sparks joy we can look at how our next purchase will add value, spark joy, or elevate our wardrobe, disposition, life, etc...or if we will just likely declutter it in our next round!
In addition to asking myself frequently in many areas of life if something sparked joy, I found many invaluable tips, tricks and life hacks that were of the utmost importance in upgrading my home to its current state. (I have been reading and decluttering and organizing passionately for 4 years. I just started giving lessons 2018.) First of all, she mentioned two categories of items that I had previously ignored in my many decluttering passes. Under the bathroom category, she wrote about organizing cosmetics. I thought this was something that I had been less than sparkling about as all of my cosmetics had been organized, but in ziplock bags and mixed in a bin with hair stuff. It definitely didn't spark joy and in fact was so counterintuitive to use that I barely used it even for special events like weddings. So I purchased a makeup organizer on Amazon for around $35 and was thrilled when it arrived last night! I loved going through some (really) old makeup and throwing out old brushes that had seen better days at the turn of the millennium - gross right! - and putting my favorite eyeshadow palettes and blushes in a beautiful and clear plastic organizer. Scroll down for pictures! Another category of items which I had not given much thought to and had ignored previously from reading her book was the category of photographs under "Sentimental Items". My photograph situation was a nagging complaint in my mind as every time I saw that corner in my husband's closet I was hit with a wave of nausea-like numbness and grief over a situation that remained unresolved, undefined, and without any clear delineation for action or improvement. Now, I have to admit that I did a simplified version of what Marie Kondo recommends. For example, she recommends that you line every thing up in order on the floor in piles and rows and put them in corresponding albums in chronological order by event. While this is great advice and I would suggest it to anyone who really treasured their photographs, I didn't go this route myself. I believe that with decluttering and organization, you should maintain your own personal standards that are aligned with your values, goals, and vision for your home. For me, my old photos weren't that important to me. To be honest, I like the transition to digital photos and besides making the occasional scrapbook page, rarely print and organize new photos. I enjoy them digitally and let them rest in cyberspace. It makes me happy that I'm not creating more environment waste and I can enjoy them at any time! My method and goal was to get the photos decluttered and organized in less than 2 hours in one night. I didn't have that much so I could. Also, I'm on a shoestring budget so buying more photo albums was out of the "picture" for me (pun intended!) As far as discarding pictures, you may discard doubles or make piles to give to loved ones who may enjoy having a copy. I did this happily. There were two albums with pictures from a couple of nights out in my twenties with people I don't hang out with anymore, so I tossed the whole 2 albums! (I couldn't easily take the photos out of each slot in a timely fashion as they were very stuck in their plastic sleeve, so I couldn't save the albums for reuse.) This was so freeing as these memories didn't spark joy! This was one of the lightest, most freeing moments of the process and felt great. The remaining photos (mostly photos of my father's side of the family from my deceased grandfather) were carefully stored in the backs of remaining albums. However, to avoid confusion since they are not categorized necessarily by event or chronological order I labeled each album with its contents with a label-maker. This is one thing I try to instill an understanding of with my clients. It is not about being a neatnik with borderline OCD or have a minimalist home - it's about what you want for your home! So while I admire KonMari's methods, I had to forge my own path that night! I even photographed some great ones and shared with my family and friends on social media to breathe life into those precious treasure-troves of the moments of our lives! She also made some great suggestions under the "Kitchen" category. She suggested keeping the sponge, soap and related dishwashing items under the sink. So I am experimenting with this. I'm not sure if I will ultimately like it and my husband definitely has his doubts, but I definitely LOVE the way it looks! No water stains or dingy-looking sponges to clutter the space around the sink. In fact, I feel like it has definitely taken my kitchen to the next level. Also, KonMari recommends with high cabinets (such as under my sink) to use racks to make another shelf to maximize the storage space. I measured the space (be sure to measure first!) and ordered a great shelf from amazon and used it to store my dishwashing pods and sponges. Another advantage to decluttering? When decluttering and adding storage solutions to my cosmetics and cleaners I found 4 new mascaras (I thought I had one) and 3 dishwashing pod tubs (I thought I had one). This type of thing constantly amazes me. Sometimes these little corners can be like a tiny black hole, sucking up items and we keep buying out of habit, but what a waste! What a good reason to declutter - it saves money! So what were my take aways from Spark Joy by Marie Kondo? 1. Don't ignore any thing - photos, make-up, kitchen utensils, socks...it all must be tidied! 2. You can ask yourself, "Does this spark joy?" about anything! There is no limit! It is a maxim to live by! But as a yogini, I must caution you of sound advice from BKS Iyengar, "A pleasure seeker will eventually end up a pain finder." So exercise caution when using this inquiry. The occasional ice cream sundae and TV show might spark joy once a week or even once a month, but doing that every night would just lead to excess weight around your abdomen, lethargy, and low energy - and that DEFINITELY wouldn't spark joy! 3. Invest in storage solutions! It will maximize space and spark joy! I hope this helps aid you in your journey towards the home of your dreams! Make you have peace in letting go of what no longer serves you and energized by an expansive sense of hope. -Betty Lynn I have been doing triathlons as an amateur beginner on and off for the past 10 years. I've probably completed about 5-8 sprint distance triathlons during that time, with relatively light training schedules. It kept me active and made me get more serious about my running, cycling and swimming so I felt like it was worth the entry fee for each race if it got me in the pool more often. Recently, I started to research more information on training, hoping to shave some time off of my "bottom 1/3" race places. I was also looking for some motivation to workout more. I often find if I want to improve an area of my life and I devote time to researching it, I will find a renewed interest and fervor in the activity, inspired by research on proven benefits or even anecdotes of success or transcendental experiences. So while I was reading the book, Triathlon for Beginners by Dan Golding, I was surprised to find a tip that is equally applicable to all people who exercise regardless of age, training intensity or ability level.
In his book, Dan Golding stated that in order to reach top training efficiency, one should train normally for 5-6 weeks, then take a "light" week. I tried this and immediately found so many results. Now I am by no stretch of the imagination an elite athlete. Most of my workouts involve yoga and walking, with some HIIT cycling and lap swimming mixed in, with the occasional resistance session or fitness class thrown in. However, after taking a light week where I took many more days off, went for leisurely walks in the park with my husband, and kept my yoga sessions gentle and short, I found a re-entry that was both energized and renewed in motivation. I couldn't believe it! And all of a sudden it was like everything made sense. There were many times in my 20s that I tried to get into a gym routine. I would hit the gym hard for about 4-5 weeks and then taper off to nothing, trying so hard to keep it up and eventually giving it up completely, only to relive the cycle again in a couple of weeks or months. I would feel guilty, like the gym rats knew something I didn't know. That they had this reservoir of self-control and motivation that was either unavailable, nonexistent, or untapped in my own lazy body. However, after I took the "light" week, this natural cycling of trying hard, tapering off and giving up made perfect sense! I wasn't unmotivated....my body and mind and schedule just needed a break from the grind - a time of rest and renewal to go back hard. And did I go back hard! (If you can count any of my workouts as hard - LOL). Re-entry was cleaner, brighter, more intense, with a renewed sense of commitment, re-energized and inspired! I couldn't believe it! I had finally found one of the training secrets to sustained training! My husband's running coach told him to take off completely 2 weeks per year, which works for him. It's a time of hibernation and restoration. This makes sense, but so does having a natural cycling of intensity to have (almost) monthly periods of rest and recovery. Of course, you should keep moving and training in some way to prevent becoming totally sedentary (we all know moving is good for humans!), but definitely take it easy! So some suggestions for staying positively engaged during a light week: 1. Take on a home project 2. Declutter 3. Write/Journal 4. Make more art/music 5. Take slow walks in nature 6. Take a day trip somewhere seasonal such as apple picking or checking out a museum 7. Binge watch a show (for you Netflix fans!) 8. Read your favorite books/blogs 9. Sleep in This also makes sense with regard to dieting. We all know that cheat meals work and the research on this is presented in the book, Thinner, Leaner, Stronger by Micheal Matthews. He presented military research of how starvation "victims" (volunteers for research) lost the most weight the day after a periodic "feast" in which the volunteers indulged way past their normal caloric intake. Apparently, the body, when faced with a caloric restriction, and its metabolism gets very "thrifty", making the most of each calorie, making it true that the more you diet the harder it is to lose weight. So his advice? One cheat meal per week to trick your metabolism back into its abundance mode. However, if you are interested in long-term weight loss I have another tip that has worked for me, but is not grounded in research, so just see if it works for you too. Every 3-4 weeks of calorie restriction, give yourself a break. I don't mean eat brownie sundaes for breakfast, but maybe stop counting calories and just eat light and what your body craves and try listening to your body instead of your health apps. I think this serves two purposes: it makes you tune into your body's natural cues and increases body awareness, and it gives your willpower muscle a break. In the book, Willpower, by Roy F. Baumeister and John Tierney, they chronicle the research-based similarities between your willpower and your muscles. They essentially prove that willpower is like a muscle that can be strengthened or atrophied. The point I would like to point out is that this muscle can also be fatigued as they proved in their bridal registry experiments. So if willpower can be fatigued, wouldn't it make sense to relax the diet a little every couple weeks, give yourself a break, so you can come back even stronger and eat cleaner than ever? It makes sense to me. Anyway, those are my tips and tricks for now! Try it and see if it works! Post your comments below! Taking it easy for now, Betty Lynn When I started my university studies of the Spanish language in 1996, I typically carried around a few select Spanish literature classics and a (very heavy) 4-inch-thick Spanish to English dictionary. It was very traditional learning: the professors assigned the text, we read it, looked up the words we didn't know and wrote papers on literary analysis - pretty dry stuff.
Fast forward to 2019, and I am working on learning my third language: French. My experience is completely different. Although I am supported by my private tutor who has a traditional approach with reading, writing, listening and speaking; there are so many more materials available as media to both consume and interact with so that I can practice in a modern, fun, and highly engaging way. I would like to share some of those materials with you here. First of all, according to Lydia Machova, the way to become a polyglot (one who speaks several languages fluently) you must practice four principles: enjoyment, effective method and system, and patience. I would like to focus on the first principle in this blog: enjoyment. For her complete ted talk click here. There are so many ways to practice your new language, and these are only suggestions - do what works for you - what you enjoy! At first I found the app, duolingo to be very helpful. It was like a cross between a quiz and a game and it focused on basic vocabulary which helped me get to the best start in terms of the basics. Go to duolingo.com for more info. You can download it in the App Store as well. I'm sure there are other apps so play around and see what works for you! Second, I immediately started listening to audiobooks on the audible app, available at audible.com of books I knew well in English. This helped me get used to the sound of the language, which despite my inability to understand 97% of what they were saying, was very useful as now I can recognize some of the words; but more importantly can pick out the words I don't understand them to look for them in other places. So far I have listened to about 20 hours of French audiobooks, understanding nearly nothing for the first 17 hours but recently have been able to tune into sections understanding some passages. So of course, patience is of the utmost importance when working like this. I personally prefer to clean or walk on the treadmill while listening to these audiobooks. These are great ways to multi-task and avoid mental boredom when doing tedious tasks like cleaning out the fridge! Third, I use Netflix like an addict lately. I can't get enough and I find myself returning more and more. There is a decent amount of audio available in various languages (mostly Spanish) so I use these titles to watch in the language I would like to improve and put the subtitles in English. This has been extremely useful as the visual context gives clues as to what they are talking about and also the inflection of the voice combined with the speakers with various voices and characters helps me adjust to various rates of speaking, regions of origin of accents and more. Fourth, I listen to "Learn French" podcast on Spotify that are focused on current events in Europe (real current events - not the politically divisive diatribe of most "news" stations right now). It models a conversation and explains the phrases, verb tenses and vocabulary. There are many different types of these available for English, Spanish, French, etc. Just look them up on your phone and you'll be on your way! Allez! Almost there....one more thing I love to use to learn language is media available on YouTube. There are so many different types of classes and speakers who share resources, tips and tricks that you will learn a language quite quickly if you immerse yourself in these resources. But my favorite thing about YouTube? Searching for French or Spanish music with English subtitles as well as the lyrics in the native language. This is an old trick I learned from college. I always joke that I learned 30% of my Spanish from Shakira, and it's probably not much of an exaggeration! Music is one of the most fun ways to learn! Just read the lyrics and the translation and you can have a fun way to commit it to memory! In fact, this morning I woke up dreaming of a French song and had to go play it immediately on YouTube to hear the real thing! Finally, I use language learning mp3s on audible.com in my car to practice vocabulary and learn from short stories particularly designed for language learning. These are typical "Learn Spanish for Medical Use" or "Learn French Phrases for Travelers" types of audio tracks that introduce you to a phrase in English and then introduce the phrase once or twice in the language you are learning, with time to practice pronunciation. So this method is very helpful as well! I hope this helps! I know some of you have requested this blog for use with children, but any of these methods can be adjusted by just searching for age-appropriate materials or simply using the same methods! Good Luck! Buena Suerte! Bonne Chance! -Betty Lynn If I had to sum it up in one word, I would say that the secret to my before and after pic (and keeping the 30 lbs. off for 3 years) is LIFESTYLE. Yes, we all have that one friend who quit drinking, took up running, and a year later looks five years younger...but what is the true key to changing your lifestyle? I believe it begins with one habit at a time. Keystone habits are ones that once started and stuck to, spark an upward spiral. For example, quitting smoking or drinking, beginning to meditate or starting to exercise have all been shown to help people increase willpower in other areas of their life such as finances, health, and even cleanliness. For a blog on keystone habits click here. But if you're looking for a quick anecdote, I'd like to share my story.
An upward spiral is something that is hard to get started but just like it takes more to move a train from 0 MPH to 1 MPH than from 1 to 2 MPH, a little momentum goes a long way. So get started however you can because once you start it's hard to stop. I started practicing yoga 21 years ago, but it wasn't until I started meditating seriously 8 years ago that I started seeing substantial effects in almost every area of my life year after year. After meditating for a couple years, I married the love of my life which has helped me grow in so many ways. Next I joined Weight Watchers (which I highly recommend) which helped me pinpoint some of my weaknesses. Then I started to exercise everyday. I started with walking around my neighborhood because it was easy and could be done almost everyday of the year. I quit drinking any type of alcohol for the last five years. I discovered a food allergy (gluten) and eliminating it drastically improved my digestive health. After meditating for many years my sleep got sweeter and I worried less, making my work life more enjoyable and less stressful because I wasn't chronically tired or anxious. I began listening to audiobooks on my commute, but focused almost exclusively on nonfiction. I researched organization and productivity and began using the GTD method. For more information, click here. This provided a lot of mental clarity which also improved my work flow - whether working out or meditating things just were less stressful due to distributive cognition. Previous to that, I went on a decluttering kick that lasted for 4 years and I plan to continue to revisit for the rest of my adult life. I read voraciously on the subject of decluttering, tidying up and organizing. I can now say the mental clarity I have is reflected in my home/work space as well. Next, I went on a vegan challenge and tried incorporating one vegan meal per day, reducing my animal-based products, increasing my fiber and nutrient intake. All of these habits occurred slowly and unfolded over time - about 10 years. I'd like to say that I've cut down on chocolate, coffee, and shopping...but hey! Nobody's perfect. I wasn't always like this. My husband likes to remind me of a picture he once took of the passenger side of my car that had so much garbage in it he couldn't get in with his long legs. Well, as the saying goes, "Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future." I like to quip that my 20-something-self would be very bored by my almost-40-something-self. But honestly, I'm proud of my upward spiral. I worked really hard for the last 10 years to become the person I am today and it all started with one little keystone habit and the commitment to never quit or back down. It doesn't matter how slow you go. My nickname in my family is "Steady Betty" because I go slow but never stop. My brother likes to compare me to the tortoise in Aesop's fable, "The Tortoise and the Hare". But above all I'm inspired by other people's stories, whether they are at the top of their game or the end of their rope - just set an intention to start and never give up. For advice on starting small, read this blog. Don't wait for New Year's to set your resolution. Your future could be one long upward spiral if you just set the intention, start small, choose a keystone habit, and never give up. As for me...I'm still working on myself. All my best, Betty Lynn Elizabeth Blackburn, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize in 2009 for Physiology or Medicine, for her team's discovery of "how chromosomes are protected by telomeres and the enzyme telomerase" (Nobelprize.org) partnered up with a health psychologist, Elissa Epel, to understand the effect of lifestyle choices on aging at the genetic level. What they discovered was an epic intersection of various lifestyle choices, from everything from avoiding processed meat and soda to not living in dangerous neighborhoods, where the shape and size of telomeres were affected positively (or negatively) depending on the behavior chosen. But what exactly are telomeres and telomerase?
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AuthorBetty Lynn is an writer, educator, artist, illustrator and yoga teacher living in the suburbs of New York City. Archives
October 2019
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